Wednesday, October 5, 2011


I just want to start this stream of consciousness by acknowledging that I must be one of the worst bloggers on here, as I don't write in it regularly.  I know how terrible I am, and maybe I'll blog about it someday : )
(Now if you smiled or chuckled at the irony in that, congratulations.  You're one of the people I'm writing to, and welcome.  Anybody else... you may as well click off me now, because I don't get much better than this... lol)
Anyway, I just got finished cutting grass (what an exciting day, right?), and I noticed something.  I couldn't have been running the mower for more than five minutes when I looked up, and two of my neighbors had brought theirs out and started too.  Now I realize that it's been at least three weeks since anybody on my block has mowed, what with the hurricane, and the tropical storm, and then just crappy weather in general.  So this is the first time in a while that it's been sunny on my day off (not from writing, from the job that  So all our front yards had that 'vacant lot' look about them.  But the timing of this was just weird.  And it's not the first time this has happened.  I thought about it, and I remember that every time I've come out to cut my grass, at least two other people come out too.  It's kind of creepy.
Did I get elected the mowing captain of my block or something?  Do these people sit by the window and watch for me (or anybody, for that matter) to go out and do something, and then feel like they have to run out then and there too?  Does my mower put out a signal to the other homeowners on the block that it's time to mow?  Or is it me?  Am I psychic like the Mara character in my books?  I wonder if I think really hard, can I make my neighbors do other things?  <closes eyes and puts finger to temple>  Buy Augustine Agenda.... go to and buy Augustine Agenda....
Ha ha... I didn't really think that would work. <checks>   Right.  I didn't really think that would work.  Ha ha ha.
But I degress.  The timing of it is just so weird.  Has this happened to anyone else?  I've driven through other neighborhoods and seen three or four people out mowing at a time, so I'm sure it has.  But what is it that causes this?  Is it a social thing?  Is it instinct?  Did the cavemen mow their grass in packs too?  What is it that drives people to mow in groups? 
If you're reading this, President Obama (and I know you are.  You bought both of my books, right?), I have an idea.  If you guys in Washington really want to blow a few million of our tax dollars on another study, I think the next one should be on the "Group Mowing Phenomenon of Suburban America".
Think that's silly?  Of course it is.  I meant it to be.  But think about this:  NASA spent 10 million dollars in R&D back in the day to design something for the astronauts to write with in the zero gravity environment of space.  They designed a pen that employed a pressurized ink cartridge and could be used at any angle, even upside down.
The russian space program had a writing implement that could do the same thing.  It was called a PENCIL.

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